DILEMMA..!!!

Yesterday morning i woke up and, like i do everyday, i switched on my laptop and checked my mail. it showed one new mail.it was from some "nithiya.b.g", i thought it was spam and i was just about to delete it when i saw the subject line. it read "WELCOME TO ACCENTURE  "

So i opened the mail wondering why they were mailing me now even though i had rejected their offer. the mail read

Hi Insiya,

We are pleased to inform you that your Onboarding has been allotted for the month of Jul and you are required to join the Accenture team on 27^th Jul 2010.

I will be helping you in your transition into Accenture and will also be your point of contact. Apart from interacting with you over mails in the coming weeks, you will also receive calls from us with regards to your joining formalities.

In this regard, we would like for you to confirm or provide us with the following information within 2 days of receiving this communication.

"

And i just sat there looking at the mail wondering what i was suppose to do now. i realized that i had never rejected their offer because what i assumed was a mailing mistake on their part was actually not a mistake but they had deliberately not given me a date then and were giving me the DOJ now.

So there i was siting in front of the laptop wondering which company to join, because Accenture is also a very good company. and it was giving me location as my home town. i know, i know i keep saying i don't want to stay in Hyderabad but see home is home. if i take up Accenture i can stay in my room and my life will remain the same. after siting for half hour, thinking i got up and told mom about it. at first she was delighted that i wasn't going anywhere but after a little while she came upto me and said " I THINK YOU SHOULD GO TO MYSORE ONLY, YOU'VE DECIDED ON THAT AND YOU SHOULDN'T CHANGE YOUR MIND."

Now that was a shocker because i was soo sure mom would force me to stay back. so now mom's pressure was out of the way and the decision was suppose to be all mine because i knew dad wouldn't influence my choice or pressurize me in any way. and there was my second shocker. my dad wanted me to stay and join Accenture. crazy right when you think you know exactly how your parents will react they do a 360 deg turn about. hmph...

Anyway, i went to every forum online, broke my head for hours and then i gave up and went shopping. okay, just to clarify here i din't go for shopping as a stress buster because its not a stress buster for me i don't like shopping , i went because i had to buy important stuff and it was a preplanned trip.

Now normally when i shop i think only about what i have to buy ad shut my mind off everything else but today instead of looking in the mirror and thinking of the clothes in the trial room i was thinking of the pros and cons of the two companies.

I came to a point when i wanted to switch off my mind and put it away on one of the shelves in the mall. but switching off the brain isn't remotely possible. :(

SO my point here is, is it good to have a choice when it gives us soo much pain. wouldn't it be better if i just had no choice??

I wouldn't have to rack my brains right?? I mean making a choice is easy but making a smart and intelligent choice is hard, very hard..:(

To help me, a friend of mine put it in a very simple way. he said

" IF YOU JOIN ACCENTURE IT MEANS HOME

AND IF YOU JOIN INFOSYS IT MEANS FREEDOM

 WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE?? "

And when someone puts it that way the decision is easy right??? at least at this age, all we want is freedom and the decision sounds simple but with freedom comes responsibilities.

Again i was in a fix. wondering if i was ready to take on the responsibility that came with freedom.

Am i??  i don't know. and i won't know till i actually take on the responsibility if i'm capable or not.right??

Slowly i was eliminating the reasons i had for joining Accenture and choosing it over Infosys. but my biggest reason was still there Accenture is a MNC and its an international name. Infosys is India based.

So today morning i called my uncle( mom's cousin), and since he has been in the IT industry for 10 years now, i asked for his advice. his advice was simple "GO FOR WHAT YOUR GUT TELLS YOU"

It sounds easy right?? but it isn't. so he started asking me for my reasons for changing my mind and he told this after listening to the whole thing

" YOU'VE ALREADY DECIDED ON ONE COMPANY AND I'M NOT TAKING A NAME BECAUSE YOU KNOW THE NAME, BUT YOU HAVE A SOFT CORNER FOR THE OTHER COMPANY AND THATS COMING AND DISTRACTING YOUR CHOICE. "

He said i don't need to help you girl, you've made your decision and now just act on it. and i hung up with my mind set. my dad came and asked me my decision and i said

" I HAVE DECIDED TO GO TO MYSORE FOR MY INFOSYS TRAINING"

And guess what happened then. my phone beeped. it was a message from R. it read

" BOTH R TECHNICALLY GOOD, ACCENTURE IS RATED SLIGHTLY HIGHER AND A FRIENDLIER PLACE, INFOSYS IS MORE STEADIER."

Aaaaannnnnnnnnndddddd the circle in my head began again. VICIOUS CIRCLE  i tell you. I mean you'd think that once i made a choice i would stick to it but god no. i just couldn't stick to it. AARRRRGGGHHH. at that point i felt like pulling the hair of my head, how do people make such choices. god i hated the whole situation. in my head i was shouting and then i remembered my uncle's words. and i thought to myself

" ENOUGH INSIYA, YOU'VE ALREADY DECIDED, DON'T START WORKING YOURSELF UP AGAIN."

But of course i was just preaching it not really practicing it. D came home and i told her what my uncle told me and her reaction was this

" YOU SOUND LIKE YOUR TALKING ABOUT A BOYFRIEND WITH ALL THE LIKING AND SOFT CORNERS HEHE"

Anyway that wasn't relevant just felt like adding it. so i made up my mind with INFOSYS and just to see if luck also wanted that for me i told D to make chits and as you have it i picked up the INFOSYS paper.. :D

So no more dilemma. I've decided. and once i'm done blogging i'm going to mail Accenture and let them know that i'm not accepting their offer. PHEW!!!

P.S. Its best not to have options. but even though i'm saying that now i'll always keep my options open in life at least with options its my decision and not a step i took because of not having another choice. okay i really hope the post makes some sense at least.. hehe...