EXPECTATIONS...!!!

We have two kinds of families.. One we are born into and one we choose for ourselves...

Friends are the family we choose for ourselves. And of course the one person who is more than a friend.

But here lets talk about friends. We choose them for ourselves, at least most of the times. We expect these people, these friends to be there when you want them, when your need them because your in trouble or lonely or just because you want to know that there is someone out there for you. Okay truly speaking, because you've been there for them day or night. And you just kind of expect to get what you've given without thought( maybe a little teeny weeny thought). Don't you?? Isn't it okay to expect a little.?? Not much just a little...

How are you to feel when that doesn't happen. When your siting all alone and your friends who promised to be with you, aren't there. And it isn't because they really can't make it( that is understandable if your asking for something that puts them into trouble), its more because they aren't trying to come, because they are spending all your time with some else well.. IS that lame??? Is it expecting too much???

Especially when you have soo many people who are supposedly your friends and you've asked them all to give you company and yet here you are siting all alone at home ( and they know it) and not one of them is here to give you company. Yes a few called but it was more for courtesy to ask you out for things that they know you don't enjoy. And few promise but don't call.

There are times when you've been busy and have had obligations which you've readily chucked just to spend time with them friends.. IS it okay to be pissed at them especially if you've always gone out of your way to make time for them. Is it okay to be sad when you've given them time when you could've spent that time with your special someone or had to( like a mandatory thing) be with your parents. When you've made time for them be it day or night.

Thats why the title...

Expectations...

Whom to expect from??

What to expect??

How much is too MUCH???

And finally what happens when those expectations are not met??

Is it okay to be pissed???

Forget all that how are you suppose to react when those friends call you and ask you if your pissed??? What do you say?? How much do you say???

IS it because they aren't really as good a friend as you think?? Or is it because your just asking for more than they can give?? And really what is asking for too much.??

And FINALLY...


IS THERE A TOO MUCH IN FRIENDSHIP???

P.S.

I might have repeated myself a few times please ignore that.

And now I'll just curl into a blanket and sleep tight because well I'm tired of waiting for the whole day and I have a feeling that tomorrow and day after is going to be much of the same...

ADIOS....

BEGINNING OF THE WEEK - END....!!!

SO .. this last week was weird.. it started off with the usual Monday blues and then my speciality the Tuesday blues... and then...no no i wasn't gonna say Wednesday blues... i was saying 'and then exam tension'... yea i had a big bad test on Thursday.. and as usual i hadn't studied anything even tho i had the whole weekend to do so. and then to add to that there were at least10 people dependent on you to pass the test. it does take its toll on u now doesn't it. hence the EXAM BLUES....

Next came the big day.. Thursday morning was full of mixed emotions.. the exam tension + the excitement for the coming weekend. +  relief that Ramadan was over( oh i was writing an exam on eid, couldn't get any better now could it?? )... and a few more emotions that i cant remember anymore.
So here comes Monday morning...

5 am:
My alarms rings..... DO I WANT TO WAKE UP??? NOOOOO... so i go back to sleep

6 am:
My alarm rings again... This time no choice i woke up, after all i had yet to study for the damn exam. SO i wash my face and sit down to study (try to study)....

7 am:
Still studying....

7:10 am:
FINALLY DONE studying.... well i finished reading the material at least.. :P

7:30 am:
Standing in front of my closet and thinking what to wear..( yeah yeah.. i know exam hai but a little Vanity is allowed.. after all its eid today) So i take out my M&S pant and shirt.. wearing it for the first time.. excited...

7:50 am:
Admiring myself in the mirror and thinking i look pretty good and that's when the phone rings...

J calling
J says: " haan hum nikal gaye.. tumhare ko kaha se pick karna?? "

Me thinking:  " SHIT I'm not ready yet.. kya karun ? kya karun?
Me saying:  " haan theek hai ghar ke saamne aake call karo"
*Hanging Up*

Running around the house getting ready because my pick up comes in 10 - 15 Min's...

8:10 am:
Almost ready...
Phone rings.. J calling " we are almost there come out"
Me: "haan main aari hoon" *HANGING UP*
Me( to myself) : SHIT SHIT SHIT.. okay I'm leaving now...

Running out of the door
Oops forgot my shoes.. running back inside...
Got them running out of the door again...
And then..
More running till i reach the main road...
Shit i forgot my umbrella... But cant go all the way back( luckily the rain gods had mercy on me that day )
J waiting in auto with 2 more people. my first thought 'hmmmm where will i sit'
But since this is INDIA we stuff ourselves into the auto and somehow sit.. I'm nervous for the test and everyone is studying like crazy(yes in the auto only)...

We reach and I have to get out first so i move to get out and that's when the tragedy strikes...
Big time TRAGEDY,....
I cant move .. I'm stuck..
I try again and again I'm stuck...
I look to see why... and what do i see...
My PANT.... NOOOO... PLEASE NOOO...
I finally manage to get out and check my pant
Oh thank god... its okay...
Oh wait whats that???

NOOOOOOOO... its Got TWO holes next to the pocket..

My M&S pant is ruined.. NOOO NOOO NOOO

Shit it the beginning of the day and how the hell am i going to go through the whole day with holes in my pant... ( okay they weren't too big and they weren't even visible to people who dint know) But they were my NEW pants... Damn the auto for having such pointed ends.. ARRGGGGHHH..

The girls tell me its okay.. its not visible and i put my big fat bag on that side and carry on.. I mean what can i do.. cant even go back home.. exam hai... not really a choice there..
Though I'm grateful to god that the holes were extremely tiny and not visible ...

I have a test in half an hour and my pant tears is that a good omen?? hell no.. so i go into panic mood thinking I'm screwed today and because of me few more people are going to get screwed .. people who were going to copy from me....

9 am:
Test begins.. All izz Wellll.. TEST is EASY.. Phew...

9:40 am:
I'm almost done with my test.. soo sure I'm going to pass...
Supervisor comes to the room...
"PRESS ALT F4"

i look up at him .. shocked....  "WHY?? "

"THE TEST HAS DISCREPANCIES SO WE ARE CANCELLING THE TEST"

"BUT WE ARE ALMOST DONE SIR"

"SORRY , PLEASE CLOSE YOUR TESTS. I WILL GET BACK TO YOU IN 10 MIN'S ABOUT YOUR NEW TEST TIMING"

*alt+F4*

10 am:
People saying test postponed to Monday... NOO please don't spoil my weekend... :(

11 am:
Supervisor comes again
" YOUR TEST WILL TAKE PLACE TODAY"

*sighing in relief*

"BUT..." *pauses for effect*

so much for thinking its all good

"TEST IS SCHEDULED FROM 5pm to 6pm"

noooo.. that's at the end of the day... i wanted to leave early ... nooo noo nooo.. :(

but obviously we have no choice .we cant just leave...

2 pm:
Time is passing at snails pace..

3 pm:
Still 2 hours to go

4 pm:
People revising.. why?? please keep the books inside.. its scary...

4:50 pm:
Finally.. getting ready to give test..

5 pm:
The website is stuck.. ahh... what am i doing in the useless place...

5:01 pm:
Still stuck... Refreshing...

5:06 pm:
Refreshing... Page Loading...

5:10 pm:

Page Loading again...

5:15 pm:
Still Loading....

5:18 pm:
Finally test begins...  Hands are cold.. Just let the damn test get over.. please...

6 pm:
Shit just 10 Min's more.. where the hell did the time go... hurry hurry hurry...!!!

6:05 pm:
TEST OVER..
SAVING RESULTS ... PLEASE WAIT....

WAITING>>>>
WAITING>>>>
WAITING>>>>

PAGE CANNOT BE DISPLAYED.....!!!!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? NO AGAIN.... PLEASE LET MY TEST RESULTS BE SAVED...

Asking the supervisor "What happens if the test results are not saved?? "

"You'll have to take the same test again..."

*Praying*  PLEASE LET MY RESULTS BE SAVED

6:30 pm:
Page Still Loading...

6:35 pm:
PHEW page loaded..
Test saved... i passed...

And with that ended an eventful day of my life... phew... thank god the day was over..
Oh but the weekend is just beginning.. but that's another story of its own...

ADIOS...

ONE MONTH.....

One Month Ago....

It was my first day at the JOB... Big day.... woke up early got dressed in my best clothes picked up my bag and N picked me up from home... oh no... N wasn't joining with me.. S, D and N were coming to drop me all the way till the induction venue... yeah...!!! i know how sweet of them... :) :)  SO i reached the venue... 5 star hotel and all... it was like woweee.... but my thoughts, as i entered the main door of the hotel while they sat in the car and waved goodbye to me, were not woweee... they were more on the lines of nervousness and some sorrow and regret.... nerves are understandable... but why the sorrow and regret, right??? its really simple actually.... i was sad to leave people behind me .. the people who sat in the car were not people i wanted to leave behind.... :( and regret because i knew that i could have been with them if i chose it... oh and there was some hope... hope that i still had my other options open that i if this company was not good enough i could go to the other..( though i knew deep down that i wouldn't change my mind anymore... i had a very big incentive by going to ACC..)

Anyway, that was how the day started... and i would like to say that it got better but the truth is it just got worse.. i managed to get through the day. but what i was really looking forward was to get out of the induction program and go meet friends... oh there was one good thing about this program... it had great  great great food..( and trust me that was another thing that got me  through the day... the good food.. :P )...

The next 2 days went on with the induction and truly speaking it just got more and more boring... :P.. i mean all that was happening was people going on about the core values and ethics and  then i zoned out.... :P .. but I'm sure it was more of the same... i reached the heights of boredom in those 2 days...

Present Day....

I woke up late... took a quick shower.. its a Friday so i put on jeans (yayayay)... and the top that came into my hand first and waited for the bus... there was no place in the bus.. so i sat behind the driver's seat ( see the contrast to me sitting in a luxurious car on the 1st day to this..)  and now its lunch break and if i want to eat i will get a south Indian thaali which i detest or a puff or the best is the maggi..( not that I'm eating... ).... and today evening i don't have anyone to go meet.. oh wait there is my bed waiting for me at home.. but that's about it...

I've been in this place for a month now.. and a lot has changed... I've gotten use to being alone and doing things alone.... i almost went and had the iftar treat at pizza hut alone... so that has definitely changed( that's something i wouldn't even have considered a month back... going to a restaurant and eating alone... no f*****g way...) but now it all goes....

Now , even after 1 month i don't like this place any better... but i like the fact that i have a house to go back to at the end of the day because fact is if i would have gone to INFY and not liked it and not even have a home to go to at the end of the day i guess i wouldn't have been able to handle it so well...

I liked my life 1 month back.. i was living it to the fullest.. and now I'm just going along with it.. because life has to go on...:)

Enough crap for now....

Adios...

MOVING ON....

They say when you leave college you leave your life ( as you know it) behind you and move on to a new life. a life which has a different meaning and different priorities. but do we really??

When you leave school behind you leave your childhood behind... you leave your careless days behind because now it time to think seriously about your career.. its time to use your brain for its most important purpose... think.... its time you decide your future... you leave the uniforms, the classrooms, the teachers and everything behind.... but i din't.... i loved my school... i savored my memories.. i saved my school uniform... i saved my identity card ( now its tattered and torn), i still have my officer bearer badges and my blazer. will i ever let go off them??? some people might laugh and say i'm hung up but i don't think so.. i love those memories.. and they are things that i will never let go off because i love them...

I'm not a crazy person who just keeps junk from years back... i don't have a single memory from my junior college days. not an identity card... nothing... y??? because i hated the place.. it meant nothing to me... it was just something that i had to do...to be able to move ahead in life.. so i did it.. but i don't have any souvenir of that time...

Now people tell me that since college is over i need to move on... life isn't the same any more... i can't hang on to things..

I agree life isn't the same.. but that doesn't mean i have to lose things that i value in life..  does it?? i miss my life.. i miss college.. but that doesn't mean i'm cribbing.. i know that its time for me to be responsible and grow up and all of that.. but y does it mean that i have to leave things behind.. i want to hang on to the things i love.. i probably will hang on to somethings forever no matter what people tell me..

When im still hanging on to something as insignificant as a school id card, how can i even thing about moving on and leaving behind things that have probably changed me soo much that they define the person i have become.. im i suppose to leave those things and move on and away from them when they are the things that have given my college years meaning???

How am i suppose to move on when the thing that i'm leaving behind is probably what helped me get where i'm today??? Why can't i go on with my new life and still retain the important things of the life i'm suppose to leave behind... ??

I dislike the concept on moving on... its like i'm throwing something out of my life just because i dont have place for it in life... it doesnt matter that its still the most precious thing for me.. its inconsiderate and rude...

I wouldn't even throw an old jeans out if i love them.. after all they were there for me when i needed to get ready in a rush and leave from home.. okay now i'm jus blabbering... but i guess what i'm trying to say is... i cant move on.. and i dont want to move on.. and that jeans will probably lie in my closet till i grow old and die just because i love it.. and every now and then i'd look at it and remember all my happy memories with it.. and  who knows i might get around to even wearing it again someday..

So for all the people who have moved on.. and who want me to move on... all i'm saying is.. i'm sad you can forget whats important and just give into the need to let go because thats whats easy or acceptable.. but i aint doing it... no sir.. im keeping me just the same... for as long as i want to...

LONG TIME .. NO SEE...!!!

Its been too long since i wrote anything that made sense to me so here i'm siting infront of the lappy thinking what to write now.

You know there is a time when to soo many things are happening in your life but when to sit down to write something nothing really comes. well thats what i've been going through...

I have soo many things happening in life as of now.  new job, friends leaving, etc etc... but every time i thought to write about it i would say to myself there really isn't much to write about this particular incident.. there is nothingi learnt from it. or there is nothing very important about to actually write.

But now i've decided that i'm going to write about it all. like who cares if its not that important, its a part of my life, it happened to me so its important to me... :P

Let me start with the job. so my life is taking a new turn I've started working. its been 2 weeks since i joined and to tell you the truth i realized why people say that college life or student life is the best. as long as your a student you have the right to make mistakes and learn from them. to can do anything your time is your own and you don't have to give any one any explanation about it. bunk classes all you want till you can. and the best part of all you don't have anything to do.. LEAVE...

Once your working you can't leave until its logout time ( which sucks bigtime..!!!). like yesterday. our trainer missed the flight... our fault??? NO... they don't have a back up trainer...our fault?? NO AGAIN.. so we should be allowed to leave fr the day right?? NOOOO.. we are made to sit in a room from 9 am till 6 pm all the while waiting for some one to come and teach us something. ( there were breaks in the middle but thats not the point) oh! a guy does come at 3 pm to teach us networking and all he does is reads the slides and goes away.. arrrgggghhhh...

Another thing i learnt is everything they tell you about the company before joining is just to lure you in. the really story comes out only after you join. not that i'm having a really bad time here.. the company is good. people are good.. but... well i guess i just need to grow up... hmph...

Anyway enough about the boring part of the life. let me add something about the interesting parts.. the weekends... :D.. they are the most import parts.. hehe...

I started mine today with a movie... watched AISHA.. its a chick flick.. so guys stay away your bound to get bored... and if your a guy and you liked it .. hmmm...are you sure your straight??? : P...anyway.. its watchable once... oh any boys you can definitely go watch it for the girls in short clothes... hehe...

After the movie N and i visited the nail bar... hehe... got some nail art done... hehehe.. was great fun.. :P

FRIENDSHIP'S DAY..!!!

1st August 2010, Friendship's Day...

I remember celebrating friendship's day during school. the best part was for a long time i dint know it came on a Sunday. i obvious reason being Sunday was always a holiday and the band tying always took place on the day after which was a Monday. so for years i was always under the impression that Friendship's day came on a Monday and i never even realized that it never came on the same date every year.

When i was a kid friendship's day was all about tying bands and flaunting your numbers.it was all about the quantity...

"I got 10  friendship's bands.."

"Thats all, I got 50... and all of them handmade.."

I remember going to the market with my granny and buy special wool and threads for the bands and spending days before the D -Day making dozens of bands. mine would all be similar. since i never had a special friend in the beginning.

Then in 6th grade A.D came along and her band would be different from the rest and some where down the line i got bored of making bands( or rather i grew up ) so i stopped the wholesale band making and just started buying a few bands for friends( not the whole class anymore)...

Then school was out and we went to Jr. colleges... thats the time i finally figured out that friendship's day  was celebrated on the 1st Sunday of August every year. funny how i never paid attention to it before.

Since that time , thats year 2004 i've been celebrating this day ( by hanging out) with my best friends A.D and P...... We use to meet every year and hang out and just have a girls day in is nothing else.

This year however, i'm siting at home and P is out with her College buddies for lunch and A.D is in mysore ( tomm's her joining date for Infosys).

The day doesn't really hold any meaning anymore because the people i call friends aren't around to enjoy the day with me. I love them all but without them enjoying feels weird. P and i are suppose to hang out today but i have a feeling that ain't happening. the essence of the day is lost to me...:(

Its a sad friendship's day for me. August, 1st, 2010 marks the day when we all embarked on our seperate journeys away from eachother..

All the best to A.D, S and D... have a blast.. will miss u guys...:)

DISCRIMINATION AND INEFFICIENCY...

Yesterday was my graduation ceremony and i feel sad to say that i din't enjoy it at all. it was a discriminating and highly inefficient event.

The event started half hour late ( yeah! i know its hyderabad n here everyone is always late. stilll .... it was irritating. probably the only thing i hate about hyderabad is how people can't every be on time.). they first gave away certificates to the top 10 rankers of each branch, that bit was very well organized and everything but as soon as the top 10 were done the chief guest left ( not  that i really cared about some guy who i don't even know but what the f***??? right??) anyway, these dignitaries left and then they turned the place into a fish market. the whole disciple was down the drain. and they din't even have enough graduation gowns for us.they had about 200 gowns for more than 700 student.. crazy right??? and my branch ( poor me) was the last one, so we got all the sweaty gowns and caps ( ewwwww )...

Inefficient, my college has always been but i have to say the amount of discrimination they showed was mind boggling. it was as tho if you are not in the top ten then you've done nothing in your four years and your just there to witness the graduation of those toppers. do these people realize that those topper too needed a people after them so that they would be important. these toppers were toppers because they came in the top 10 amongst 120 student not because they were the top 10 of 10 students... they need the remaining 110 students to make them important enough.. sheeshhh.. disgusted by college...

So yesterday i became an engineer and today was my first day at the job. joined Accenture ( as i have mentioned earlier) yes soo... Mr. Tiger Woods made the damn comapny very proud but for a US based MNC that has such good reviews from its employees, it created a bad impression on me on the first day.

When you think of a Multinational you expect some level of discipline and sense of time. but this turned out to be worse than college where they started only half hour late. Accenture beat them by starting one and half hour late. hehe.. yeahh/.. its an MNC..... neway they made us sing some random stuff and then finally they told us that we were free to go as soon as we got out employee id and before leaving we had to make a temp id and that my dear friends took up 1 hour .

So i feel sick with the amount of discrepancies and useless wasting of time that i've noticed int these past 2 days... hehe

okay not in a mood to write anymore... sleepppppyyy....zzzzzzzzzzzz.......... good night..............

p.s: will proof read tomorrow. bear with my bad typos and any typing error.....

 good night ...

DECISION....!!!

" YOU'VE ALREADY DECIDED ON ONE COMPANY AND I'M NOT TAKING A NAME BECAUSE YOU KNOW THE NAME, BUT YOU HAVE A SOFT CORNER FOR THE OTHER COMPANY AND THATS COMING AND DISTRACTING YOUR CHOICE. "

Those were the words that i thought made my decision clear but the truth is i was still very unclear about my choice because i was thinking that accenture was the company i thought i had a soft spot for. but as it turns out that wasn't the case. the company distracting me from my choice was infosys with its lure of a beautiful campus and the most important leaving town and becoming independent. 

Today, especially now that i've taken a final decision i feel light headed. my decision feels right.. the temptation of going to mysore still is there but i feel like my decision to stay is the right one. i feel like its smart for me not to run from my life to start a new one because that is what i was trying to do by joining infosys.

So all i want to say is i've made my choice and i've made the right choice this time.

i'm joining accenture on the 27th of july 2010. 

Good night..!!!

P.S. : as happy as i'm that i've made a choice, i'm also sad because i'm gonna miss D terribly. I remember all the plans or hanging out and going to bangalore on the weekend and all the crazy things we were suppose to do together.... :( i'l miss you D... love you...:)

SILENCE OR STAMPEDE...???

BLANK....

Yep.... my mind is absolutely blank.... well its absolutely blank atleast when is comes to what i should write about right now but otherwise i think there's a stampede going on in there( hence the headache, atleast thats half the reason, the other half being the fact that i'm down with fever and cough and cold... :(..yeahh i know what a bliss, ain't it???....)......

You know how it is when you're soo sure about something and then something else happens that shakes your world and all your beliefs and then your mind starts thinking about all that you believed in all this while and you start questioning yourself and your decisions and you confuse yourself soo much that you want to stop thinking about everything but by then your brain has gone into an auto pilot mode and you just can't seem to find the switch that will shift it back to the manual mode.

Well my mind is in that exact same zone right about now, but if you come and ask me what my whole confusion is about, i don't think i would have a valid answer. see, like right now i just din't know what to do so i opened this blogging window and decided to write whatever came to my head and at first nothing..... thats why the blank... but the truth is our mind or brain or whatever that thing up there is that makes us sensible (well, not every human is sensible , is he??) i'm going to rephrase myself here. that thing up there that biologically classifies us as homo sapiens is never blank, atleast not untill you die, i think ( i really don't know the whole after life thingy and i don't think i'm a believer of it, so the brain stops after death for me). yes, so as i was saying that thing up there, lets call it the thinker ( brain is the scientific term and mind is the psychological term , so i want my own term). the thinker starts working and thinking from the time of its conception in the fetus( hope i'm right) well scientific, a fetus inside the womb does show brain cell activity so i say the thinker has started its work. and it works through out our life just like the heart. but you see heart doesn't make us go crazy and give us splitting headaches.. well it does give us heart aches but these heart aches are also there only because the thinker tells us that we have a heart ache. ( okay a little inspiration from inception...:P)

Anyway i was saying that the thinker is a poor overworked laborer. and you know god , you should have made a switch off mode for it too i mean it also needs a holiday right. just like mine needs one right now. remember stampede in the head.. thoughts are fiercely jumping on top of each other and running so fast that they are crushing each other  and destroying themselves even before they are fully formed.

N suddenly the rushing thoughts are moving soo fast that i can't even catch one of them and it seems like its a silent world again. though obviously that's just my wishful thinking because the stampede is still on and it just gives the impression of blankness because i can't read or clearly pin point on any thought.

And that has led me to a weird realization...

When we say that i'm peaceful or i'm calm or that i'm not thinking anything the truth my dear friends is that our good old thinker is working at such a fast pace that its all zooming past us and that we assume to be a blank and thoughtless phase. Which in reality it is not.

And i will conclude ( Because A.D says that i always have a conclusion to my posts) by saying that if you've actually made any sense out of this particular entry then your thinker is working at a normal pace and your insane. (because the post doesn't make sense to me)...

:D

ADIOS..!!!!

DILEMMA..!!!

Yesterday morning i woke up and, like i do everyday, i switched on my laptop and checked my mail. it showed one new mail.it was from some "nithiya.b.g", i thought it was spam and i was just about to delete it when i saw the subject line. it read "WELCOME TO ACCENTURE  "

So i opened the mail wondering why they were mailing me now even though i had rejected their offer. the mail read

Hi Insiya,

We are pleased to inform you that your Onboarding has been allotted for the month of Jul and you are required to join the Accenture team on 27^th Jul 2010.

I will be helping you in your transition into Accenture and will also be your point of contact. Apart from interacting with you over mails in the coming weeks, you will also receive calls from us with regards to your joining formalities.

In this regard, we would like for you to confirm or provide us with the following information within 2 days of receiving this communication.

"

And i just sat there looking at the mail wondering what i was suppose to do now. i realized that i had never rejected their offer because what i assumed was a mailing mistake on their part was actually not a mistake but they had deliberately not given me a date then and were giving me the DOJ now.

So there i was siting in front of the laptop wondering which company to join, because Accenture is also a very good company. and it was giving me location as my home town. i know, i know i keep saying i don't want to stay in Hyderabad but see home is home. if i take up Accenture i can stay in my room and my life will remain the same. after siting for half hour, thinking i got up and told mom about it. at first she was delighted that i wasn't going anywhere but after a little while she came upto me and said " I THINK YOU SHOULD GO TO MYSORE ONLY, YOU'VE DECIDED ON THAT AND YOU SHOULDN'T CHANGE YOUR MIND."

Now that was a shocker because i was soo sure mom would force me to stay back. so now mom's pressure was out of the way and the decision was suppose to be all mine because i knew dad wouldn't influence my choice or pressurize me in any way. and there was my second shocker. my dad wanted me to stay and join Accenture. crazy right when you think you know exactly how your parents will react they do a 360 deg turn about. hmph...

Anyway, i went to every forum online, broke my head for hours and then i gave up and went shopping. okay, just to clarify here i din't go for shopping as a stress buster because its not a stress buster for me i don't like shopping , i went because i had to buy important stuff and it was a preplanned trip.

Now normally when i shop i think only about what i have to buy ad shut my mind off everything else but today instead of looking in the mirror and thinking of the clothes in the trial room i was thinking of the pros and cons of the two companies.

I came to a point when i wanted to switch off my mind and put it away on one of the shelves in the mall. but switching off the brain isn't remotely possible. :(

SO my point here is, is it good to have a choice when it gives us soo much pain. wouldn't it be better if i just had no choice??

I wouldn't have to rack my brains right?? I mean making a choice is easy but making a smart and intelligent choice is hard, very hard..:(

To help me, a friend of mine put it in a very simple way. he said

" IF YOU JOIN ACCENTURE IT MEANS HOME

AND IF YOU JOIN INFOSYS IT MEANS FREEDOM

 WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE?? "

And when someone puts it that way the decision is easy right??? at least at this age, all we want is freedom and the decision sounds simple but with freedom comes responsibilities.

Again i was in a fix. wondering if i was ready to take on the responsibility that came with freedom.

Am i??  i don't know. and i won't know till i actually take on the responsibility if i'm capable or not.right??

Slowly i was eliminating the reasons i had for joining Accenture and choosing it over Infosys. but my biggest reason was still there Accenture is a MNC and its an international name. Infosys is India based.

So today morning i called my uncle( mom's cousin), and since he has been in the IT industry for 10 years now, i asked for his advice. his advice was simple "GO FOR WHAT YOUR GUT TELLS YOU"

It sounds easy right?? but it isn't. so he started asking me for my reasons for changing my mind and he told this after listening to the whole thing

" YOU'VE ALREADY DECIDED ON ONE COMPANY AND I'M NOT TAKING A NAME BECAUSE YOU KNOW THE NAME, BUT YOU HAVE A SOFT CORNER FOR THE OTHER COMPANY AND THATS COMING AND DISTRACTING YOUR CHOICE. "

He said i don't need to help you girl, you've made your decision and now just act on it. and i hung up with my mind set. my dad came and asked me my decision and i said

" I HAVE DECIDED TO GO TO MYSORE FOR MY INFOSYS TRAINING"

And guess what happened then. my phone beeped. it was a message from R. it read

" BOTH R TECHNICALLY GOOD, ACCENTURE IS RATED SLIGHTLY HIGHER AND A FRIENDLIER PLACE, INFOSYS IS MORE STEADIER."

Aaaaannnnnnnnnndddddd the circle in my head began again. VICIOUS CIRCLE  i tell you. I mean you'd think that once i made a choice i would stick to it but god no. i just couldn't stick to it. AARRRRGGGHHH. at that point i felt like pulling the hair of my head, how do people make such choices. god i hated the whole situation. in my head i was shouting and then i remembered my uncle's words. and i thought to myself

" ENOUGH INSIYA, YOU'VE ALREADY DECIDED, DON'T START WORKING YOURSELF UP AGAIN."

But of course i was just preaching it not really practicing it. D came home and i told her what my uncle told me and her reaction was this

" YOU SOUND LIKE YOUR TALKING ABOUT A BOYFRIEND WITH ALL THE LIKING AND SOFT CORNERS HEHE"

Anyway that wasn't relevant just felt like adding it. so i made up my mind with INFOSYS and just to see if luck also wanted that for me i told D to make chits and as you have it i picked up the INFOSYS paper.. :D

So no more dilemma. I've decided. and once i'm done blogging i'm going to mail Accenture and let them know that i'm not accepting their offer. PHEW!!!

P.S. Its best not to have options. but even though i'm saying that now i'll always keep my options open in life at least with options its my decision and not a step i took because of not having another choice. okay i really hope the post makes some sense at least.. hehe...

MOTHER O MINE

So my dearest mother is out of town and i am delighted because hey no mom reads more freedom no one to ask me where i'm off too and when i'l be back ( not that there are any restrictions but still no permission needed). i wait for the time when my parents go out of town so i can do as my heart desires. but this time when mom left she gave me responsibilities. see i can take care of myself perfectly fine but taking care of the household, hmmmmm , now thats BIG. oh, if your wondering where my grandmom is , well she is off staying with my uncle for some days so that sucks. BIG TIME.

Anyway, mom left on a saturday, and that night we had a family dinner so no trouble.

And sunday, well just passed by.

Monday was okay too, i woke up at 6am made lunch for my bro and packed it and then once he left for college i slept again. woke up at 9 again and when for spanish. so yeah, monday was easy.

But tuesday, that was another thing altogether. I slept late on monday night, and by late i mean like 3 ish. and my alarm, well not that i blame it because i set it for 7am, which made me late to make lunch. so i started rushing. and i guess it was just my bad day because thats the day that i get a headache and stomachache..:(
so, i start making lunch. fortunately ( or thats what i thought then) my maid came early and i was just halfway through my lunch making. so she completed the task for me and i could go rest( or so i thought).

Bro left. and maid got to work  on the rest of the house. suddenly she comes to me and she says
"Aap soo re kya?" ( are you sleeping?)

i said "haan"( yes)

now a normal person would go away, but not my maid she started off

"daddy ko kal ki bhendi bahot pasand aayi. poora dabba khaali hogaya."( daddy liked y'days' ladyfinger curry a lot, he cleaned the enitre lunch box)

my sleepy reply "hmmmm"

my maid being a little on the chatty side went on about the lunch for sometime and i really have no clue what she was saying because all my replies were "hmmmm" and "haaaan".. and then she finally left at some point.And i thought now i can sleep ... PHEW! i put a pillow over my head for my headache and tried sleeping again.

But after what seemed by 5 mins to me( it might have been more), my maid is back and again she says

"AAP SOO RE KYA?"

"HAAN"

Again she doesn't just go away, instead

"YE ROTI KHARAAB HO GAYI HAI, OOB AAGAYI HAI, PHEK DU??" (this roti is spoilt, got fungus on it, should i throw it?)

i murmured a yes, now that should have been enough for her but obviously it wasn't because she went on

"AAP EK BAAR HAATH LAGAA KE DEKHO, POORI KHARAAB HOGAYI HAI" (just touch it once its all spoilt)

"PHEK DO" (throw it)

"POORI OOB AAGAYI HAI, AAP DEKHE LO" (its got fungus, u see)

i turned around looked at it and said "HAAN, KHARAAB HOGAYI, PHEK DO" (yes its spoilt, throw it)

Finally satisfied with my answer she left, and i sighed in relief but it was again a early reaction, because alas she was back, this time again she started with "AAP SOO RE KYA??"

GAWD i swear i hate those words, i mean whats the point of asking me if i'm sleeping if you don't plan to go away when i say yes???

Anyway, this time around it was asking about when my grandmom will return.thats when i decided there was only one thing to do, and that exactly what i did.

I woke up, got dressed and had my breakfast and then waited for her next questions to come. but see my fate, once i woke up she stopped all her questions.:(

So mom, i'm just gonna say hats off to you. to be able to bear this everyday is something i can't do. i can take care of myself bu taking care of other people everyday isn't something i'm ready to just yet. I'm not saying i'm not responsible because i did take care of the house in her absence. but it was a pain. and i love my mommy for doing that for us everyday. you just don't understand how hard it is until you do it urself.. hehe

SO IN MY CASE. IT'S A LESSON LEARNT AND EXPERIENCE GAINED...

Aannnnnddddd  i'm done here, so GOOD BYE.

P.S. :  After reading this entry D says

" UR MAID.... BOON or BANE???" 

D says i should write an entry specially dedicated to my maid...

hahaha.... just had to add it here... :P

SHOESSSSSS.....

I've always had a fascination for shoes.

As kids, most of us would pass by a toy story and get stuck in front of the display window because we saw some toy we loved, be it a barbie doll or a hot wheels car. i remember my younger brother, M, he would sit down on the floor and start crying if mom din't buy him the toy he liked. kids wailing and shrieking outside or inside a toy story is a common sight.

I had a fascination for barbies like most girls. i use to love the dresses and the accessories. but my mom tells me i was never the kid who cried for toys or stood stubbornly in front of the shop till i got my toy. i was the good kid...:D.. hehe

But i do remember the first time i was stubborn about something. it was in a fair. there were these black sandals with 2 and half inches of platform heels and a sunflower in the front. i remember seeing that shoe and telling mom i want those and the guy was quoting a price of 1000+ rs for them. I was just an 11 or 12 year old kid so mom said a flat no.. i went to dad, made a puppy dog sad face and told him i wanted those shoes, he also denied me and we went back home. but i wanted them at any cost. so it was then that i cried and the next day we returned to that stall and bought those shoes. MY FIRST PAIR.

Ahh... i have such fond memories of those sandals. hehehe. after that i got into the adolescent phase of life and  forgot all about shoes. i was too busy making friends and having fun then...:)

But about 1 year back i went out window shopping with N and D. let me tell you N is a Shoe-aholic too. we walked into the shoe store and started skimming through the stuff. and thats when i saw them. siting on the rack looking gorgeous. i could help myself . i tried them on. and what do you know suddenly all i could think of was those shoes. the trouble was my wallet was undergoing a period of drought then. but just like the black sandals from the fair, i had to own these snake skin wedges too...and a week later i had them.. my FIRST proper pair of sandals bought out of the obsessive need to own the shoe come what may.

And the rest as they say is history. hehehe... now i own 30 pairs of footwear and i plan to carry on buying for the rest of my life. i'm not obsessed with clothes or bags or perfumes, so as a girl i'm entitled to at least one obsession read SHOES...

I love the smell of new shoes... hmmmmm... mmmmm...mmmm....*day dreaming about shoes*, anyway that another story in itself. so i'l write another entry about that later. for now i'm done.

GOOD DAY PEEPS...!!!

P.S. : i don't believe in the superstition( Indian) about giving footwear as gifts, so people feel free to gift ME as many shoes as you like.. I'm open for it.. :) :)

IS HATE TOO BIG A WORD??

There i was siting my Spanish class and the instructor was teaching us verbs. Well, more specifically he was teaching us the verb 'GUSTAR' it means 'to like' and i asked him the word for 'hate' or the verb for 'to hate' and he gave me the word.

"ODIAR"

And then he said okay tell me one thing each of you hate. and i said

" Odio los perros."

meaning

"I hate dogs."

and he said are you sure you hate them??? or do you mean to say you dislike them?? because hate is a big word. its a very strong feeling. and i thought it over and said yes, your right and i made another sentence.

"Odio los mentirosos"

meaning

" I hate liars."

But then if you come to thing of it, hating liars is also a very strong emotion because hey after all we all have lied at some point of time in our lives haven't we??

Like remember the time you told your mom you had a stomach ache and so had to miss tuition or school. Or when you did bad in some exam and said oh i din't get my marks yet. all these small things even i've done so do i have the courage to accept the fact that i hate myself?? am i right in saying i hate liars.??? and then again am i right in using the word hate??? doesn't hate become a very very strong word???

Anyway after that class i went home and forgot all about it. but then an incident occurred with A. and i thought of writing a post about it and now when i finally got around to writing i could only think of one thing

"Gosh, i Hate people like H, who want to show their strength against someone who can't really stand against them."

And there i go again with the word hate. but this time i don't think i used the word wrongly. in this context i don't think the word HATE  is a big word. i'd say its a rather small word for the emotion i want to put across.

I believe a person who hits people weaker than them is a coward not some macho man. now comes the situation with A into picture. this H, a coward for me, hit A's drivers for no reason other than the fact that A's driver wouldn't and couldn't hit him back. Don't you think H is a worth every bit of the strong emotion, the word hate expresses?? I DO...!!

When you think about it, this a very small incident, because every single day a b@$t&#d like H, hits some weaker person. A husband hitting his wife, a father hitting his kid.( yes, i agree that parents have a right over us but i still cannot accept the fact that they have the right to beat us up to teach us anything), a goon hitting a person on the road.  i HATE each and every one of these sickos( for i couldn't find a better word). i mean they must be sick in the head to think that beating someone weaker is a sign of strength. i say if u really are strong go stand against someone stronger. that you can't do.

You can hit your wife, a person who loves you even after you treat her like a piece of shit and you call yourself a man?? get a life. and i say this for the majority of women and smart men, a man/ woman who hits some1 weaker doesn't deserve to live in a society. the person is a psychopath.

I mean do  you think a sane person would stab a pencil into his wife's hand so she would need to go to the doctor to get the pencil removed?? would a stable person hit their wife and child (who is trying to save the mother) with a baseball bat??

Of course not. only a mentally ill person would do so... people pity the victim but i think its time to stop pitying and start taking some action. stop standing in the crowd and being a spectator. if you are strong then fight the bully. if you see someone weaker than you being beaten down stand up for them, for who knows someday some one stronger might be beating you and your good deed might come back to you...

So i'm going to sign out by saying

" I HATE PEOPLE WHO ABUSE THE WEAK. AND FOR THEM HATE IS A SMALL WORD. I NEED A STRONGER EMOTION TO EXPRESS MY DISGUST TOWARDS THAT CATEGORY OF PEOPLE. "

Good night.

P.S. : And that is what i like about A, he stands up for the weak and he will never ever raise his hand against some1 weaker than him. :)

DEAF HEAVEN....!!!

Here is a book i've been trying to finish for months now.... the reason behind it isn't that the book is boring. but more like i found more interesting things to do with my time then read this book. see the book is about this lady, Saraswati who dies in library on a friday evening and since her body will not be found till monday morning when the library opens again, she takes on the character of a sutradhar (someone acting as the link between the lives of strangers and narrating their stories). When i read this, the book sounded very interesting and then it was one of the crossword recommended books too.. so i purchased the book.

The book was very interesting till its first 100 pages and then suddenly, the book had so many new characters. characters that just came from no where. the book kept me engrossed till it was following the lives of four women but by the end of the book it had spoken of atleast 10 women.

By the time i reached the 150 page i guess i was lost i had no clue where i was.. but i'm not one to leave a book half way through how ever bored i get and this book i had to finish because i wanted to understand what was special in the book to have made it into the crossword recommends. honestly, even after finishing the book i haven't figured it out. i just know that i wasted 300rs on a book that i din't even enjoy. there might be people out there who liked the book but i'm definitely not one of them.

Anyway, the reason for writing about this book was not to criticize the book. but actually to just give my views on something that the book mentions. well you can say that those are my favorite pages also in the book starting from 240 to 246. there isn't much in these pages except for just paragraphs of news reports from recent newspapers. and not one news was a happy one. it was all about robbery, bulling, rape, hijacks, riots,etc. it made me realize what an unsafe world we are living in.

The pages were shouting at me and telling me "see this is the true india/world", the rich get richer, and the bloody poor get poorer. the political party supporter and workers bully the general public for everything, money can buy everything even justice. the police, the so-called protectors and implementers of law and orders are f*****g  b@$*@#ds... they commit a crime every single day but they are supposedly the ones to protect us. they take advantage of the innocent and we are suppose to go to them for help. i think the best way to ensure law and order in india is by hanging each and every one of these losers ( police, politicians, influential people who use their power for wrong purposes, etc) by their B@**$..i don't even know if i'm making sense anymore. but i don't really care.

They say that the public has no right to say anything because we choose the damn politicians and ruling parties but what those people don't remember is that what is in the election manifest is a beautiful cake made of plastic... its just a show piece none of it edible. the day these f*@k%#$ start putting something real in front of the people is the day when voting for an election is going to be of use to india. otherwise we are a democracy in the name only, but nothing is really democratic about us.

We say India is all about unity in diversity, i say my foot it is. its a very good motto.. but like hell its true. if this is unity in diversity then i dread to think of what would happen if we really had no unity.

I just remembered something interesting from the book. it has given a very good idea of when civilization ended. it says that happened when people began to think life as only about the 4 Zs.... namely

Zar - material effects including zevar(jewelery)

Zoru - women/wife

Zameen - land

Zor - force

I believe that the reason India is dying is because even though there are 4 Zs. the emphasis is only on one i.e. on ZOR. the more u have the more you become respectable.even if your a rapist or a cold blooded murderer. a person without Zor in todays India is like an open target anything can happen to him anywhere and no one cares. he can go to the police all he wants but they will help the one who has zor and gives them zar. and in this case its not just the police, its every single person. a roadside hawker will answer the person from a big car before he tends to a person on a scooter. a sales person will not bother with you if you don't look influential, etc.

Its a crazy place. all this just teaches you that your living in a world where only one thing matters

 "power"

and

"money = power"

because today your powerful if you have something to offer the person in front of you that he or she doesn't have in turn leading to corruption.Aaaaarrrrgggggghhhhh.... all this just makes me more angry.

Anyway i'm done for now. will come back again when i can start making sense of what i'm writing...

GOOD NIGHT...

P.S. my favorite quote from the book

"If a penis alone could aid ascendancy, women the world over would strap one on during work hours"

 P.g. 253, Deaf Heaven.

"Terrorism takes birth because of the profound failure of politicians, in material and philosophical terms, to fulfill their most fundamental obligations to people who elected them" 

P.g. 229, Deaf Heaven 

Oh... and the book gives the perfect definition of a RIOT. it says the riots are a sick expression of regional honour and nationalism, where a list of names and addresses are handed out to the retaliators with the permission to do whatever they want to do for vengeance. I believe this to be terrorism but then again riot is a form of terrorism too...

IS ANYTHING PERMANENT??

There are times when people say a lot of things, use big words, promise big things, but at the end of it all its all just words and more words. how do you know if those people will actually do the things that they say???

I've heard people say that nothing can be taken for granted, that nobody sticks to their word. people say that once something has been committed to paper it becomes permanent. but is that really true?? can't the paper get misplaced?? cant the paper be thrown away??can't it be torn to pieces?? can't it get soggy and the ink washed away??

I've heard people say that once you sign a legal paper, a bond paper you are bound by your word. but thats not really true is it?? marriage certificate is signed on bond paper in front of witness and yet divorces happen. people sell and buy property by exchange of these papers and yet frauds happen. so how is this permanent??

How do I believe people who make promises when nothing is permanent or reliable??

I remember the phrase " SET IN STONE"... according to the dictionary it means something that is no longer changeable or has become unchangeable... but that again is untrue... stones erode over the years, stones break, stones undergo metamorphosis and change into something absolutely different from what they were.. so when stones themselves are not permanent how can that words on them become unchangeable??

To some extent i believe actions can be permanent but then again these days actions can also be undone, everything actions committed comes with an undo button. the undo button may simply be a button like in Microsoft office or it maybe the money paid to people to keep their mouths shut.. but actions are also not permanent. so again i come back to the same question whom do you believe and how do you believe???

I know this may sound contradictory to what I've said till now but at times it isn't so much about the permanency of the actions or the words,  its the intent, the commitment offered... it is the way the person doing it feels and the way the person on the receiving end feels. its about the meaning hidden behind the actions and words because as they say nothing in this world is permanent except change itself...:)

So learn to be happy in the moment when the words are said and the actions taken and leave the rest to time..

GOOD NIGHT...!!

BAKING..!!!

If your thinking that this is inspired by JULIE & JULIA and i'm suddenly starting a countdown in an attempt to complete all the recipes from the book "MASTERING THE ART OF FRENCH COOKING" then i'm sorry to disappoint you people... this was just a one time fun attempt.. hehe

So D,N and i decided we wanted to bake a cake and learn how to make the cheesecake that N makes...its finger licking good... hehe.... well this was actually suppose to happen yesterday but then i kinda got busy... so when D was dropping me home today we suddenly decided to actually finish the task we had set for ourselves.. and after writing the Spanish test (which i might add was pretty simple but a test all the same.. hehe), we needed something to refresh us.. so we got all the ingredients and then picked N up again and reached my place... my place because i have the oven... so we take out all the ingredients and N asks me where the fresh cream is... see thats why people write down the grocery list because you tend to forget things... so we go back and get the cream... now we have everything ...phew!!!!! lets begin...

We decided to put the cake for baking and in the mean while we can make the cheesecake because it just need refrigeration... so the batter is ready... i oven is preheated at 180 C... and then WHOOOOSH... the electricity is gone.... the is an f*****g power cut... if i look at the positive side, its good it happened before we put the cake to bake otherwise our cake would've gotten spoilt....on the bad side , how in the bloody hell are we suppose to bake without an oven... ???? .. well there wasn't much to be done so we just left the batter in the mold...

We proceeded on to the cheesecake thinking okay here we require no electronic items... and thats when N says but we need to puree the fruit and crush the biscuits in the grinding machine... we looked at each others faces...!!!

i asked N, "how the hell did people cook when there were no grinder??

N said," there were no cheesecakes then... " hahahaha....

Anyway we weren't giving up soo soon... N sat with the mortar and pestle and crushed the biscuits with hand while i pureed the mango with hand by squeezin the shit out of it... hehehe... back to the old means... and we realized okay we are not that dependent on the machines but all this that took us half hour would have gotten over with in 15 mins with a grinder and some electricity... hehe

So right now the Cheesecake is siting in the fridge cooling and the cake batter is still waiting for the power to come back on... i just hope i don't eat away the raw batter.. its kinda yummy... :D

and Laptop battery also dying so thats it for now... :)

ADIOS...:)

WEDDINGS...!!!

Here, in India wedding are really funny events. If your wondering why i say that... well its simple really..
and before i say anything else people, please understand that i love these wedding as much as i hate them.. after all i'm a part of this culture. whatever i'm saying down here is just an opinion, not pointing fingers at anyone. i love the whole works and someday my wedding will also be the big Indian wedding and i'l also b the tired bride... hehe... so i'm not judging anyone here.
 
According to me the day people get married is suppose to be about the two people who are essentially the bride and the groom. but somehow they are the two people who enjoy this day the least. the bride is all decked up with ghaghra (skirts) which weigh like 1 or 2 kgs at times( i'm not kidding by the way) and then the jewelry .. it's like the bride is mannequin of some jewelry store.. i mean does she really need all that 'decoration'?? Isn't beauty skin deep.??? and the groom, poor guy is so busy attending to relatives, picking people from the airport and talking people shopping that he doesn't really get the time to relax before his big day...even on his big day he is pretty tired..


I'm gonna take a break here.... gotta go for a wedding..:D will come back and continue...:D (9:15 pm)


okay its 1:23 am now.. i'm back from the wedding.. well i was back at 12 am only but its now that i've finally gotten around to completing this post.so here goes..


yes the groom is more tired than any one else. and then comes the big day. you know nothing in the wedding right from the venue to the date to the food is of the choice of the bride and the groom. the venue is decided based on where people can be accommodated and of course the social standing of the family. the date is either set depending upon the shubh muhurat ( astrologically good dates) or when the venue maybe available..:D okay i should probably not say this here but hey ever think about the poor girl who isn't able to enjoy her wedding or her honeymoon because no one asked her if those days were good for her.. sheesh..... and the food .. ahh.. the food is always about what the people would think is good, its not about the groom liking paneer khofta or the bride liking the double ka meetha... oh nooo.. its all about the guests... its a wedding for god sakes, its not the opening of a restaurant where the customers preference matter more..


the best part is still yet to come.. we hardly ever attend a wedding because we actually wanna be a part of the couple's happy day.. WE attend these weddings for the food.. oh the yummy food... well i partly do the same.. and that is why i've decided that i'm actually gonna invite very few people.. why bother with the rest when all they want is food.. hahahaha.... the poor JUST married couple sit on the stage, the center of attraction with every one staring at them and all they do is stand and click pictures with every random person. now i really don't know the need for that either. as if i need a picture with my mom's sister's son's wife's family friend... do i even know the guy?? hell no.. but picture hell yeah.... 


and by the time this whole charade ends its almost 2 in the night and the couple is only thinking of sleeping, and this on their first night together ... poor things... and its not like they get to go on the honeymoon soon after... nope... there are times when these poor couples don't leave for a honeymoon for weeks.. oh and yea there is the whole no honeymoon part too.. so what i fail to understand here is how the hell is this a celebration for the couple, they get nothing... except the whole spending life together n forever n all that...


so for me Indian weddings are all drama though i love the getting dress up and going for the wedding bit hehe.... oh and the yummy food.. so keep the weddings going people.. :D


good night from me now.. have another wedding to go to this weekend.. :)

OLD FRIENDS!!!

When your in school, you don't really think you can ever loose contact with someone you meet every day. You never think of losing contact with the boy who was siting next to you in the school bus for years or the girl whom you called your closest friend or the guy who sat in front of you in class for 2 years sharing his notes with you.  you never stop to wonder because you are so sure that these people are your good friends and you'll be talking to them your whole life. but like always life has its own plans for you.

One day school gets over, you move on with your life and the people who were your 'good friends' also move along. the first month or even year, you talk regularly and then as the years go by you delay the phone calls because your busy with something else, no more mails or calls. one fine day you wake up and start counting back to the years that came between your friendship and you think of calling up your friends and catching up. but at exactly that moment you remember something more important and say to yourself," oh! i'l call him later its been years so whats a few more minutes or hours". and then you forget.  but what you don't really know is life is waiting for the right moment to push those friends back into your life. because when you least expect it they do come back into your life and it is then you wonder why the f*** had we stopped talking...

The best part about this is that once you start talking after the years of not being in contact you see more clearly the difference between the kid who sat beside you in the school bus and the man who is siting beside you then talking about life and environmental engineering... or the guy who wrote cheesy poems to the writer who is busy publishing his first book. or the girl who made you run behind her bf to the woman who has learnt to  live life on her own... and you feel proud of the people they have become, you feel great that after all these years you can just resume your friendship from where you left it off without being awkward or uneasy. and just like that your back to sharing joking and just enjoying the easy time spent talking and chilling with them. 

Maybe thats why friendship is such a funny relationship. even after years of silence all you need is one memory or joke to crack you up, to have you hi-fying and just laughing. and even though school friends or rather childhood friends may not always be your best buddies they always hold a special place in your heart because it is with them that you have memories that can be rivaled by none. they are the people who accept you as a nobody and don't treat you any different even after you become a somebody.

AND THEN I REALIZED....

Now that college is over, people are leaving to get on with life. And since a friend of mine leaves for her new job training program this week we met yesterday night to chill and just hang out.

We had dinner on a chinese Bandi (a roadside eatery) and had late night ice cream. Once back home we played board games, yeah i know sounds a little weird as this age bu it was fun and we laughed our guts out the whole night. finally called it a night at maybe 5 am. mostly because by then most of us were yawning and couldn't keep our eyes open even if it was a matter of life and death...

But see the funny part is yet to come. every other time that we've all just slept over at someone's, the next day was all about lazing around. waking up the next morning at 10 - 11.. having breakfast.. siting around the table and catching up on the previous night's craziness, etc, etc...

But today morning was Different. one of us got up at 7am and rushed to work. then next left at 8 and when i finally roused myself completely from sleep at 8:30ish, there were just 3 of us in the room.But see, the thing wasn't that all of us left seperately or woke up early. it was just how fast we went from "having fun" at night to "going back to work" in the morning. it was when i woke up this morning that i realized that my life of relaxation and leisure is coming to an end. very soon every day will be like this. it will not matter what kind of night i had, the next morning i would have to leave from home for work because my boss will not be a nice professor who would grant me a sick leave if i just din't feel like going in that day. i will not just b able to go to work after lunch or after the first hour because i overslept....

What amazes me all the more (umm.. actually it scares me more) is that i really haven't even started that part of my life yet but still i'm being pushed into that environment because of the change that people around me are undergoing. i guess its my time to leave education and college life behind and grow up.....

I'm not afraid of the responsibility this part of life will bring with it but my fear really lies in the fact that i might not be able to control this change because i'm really sure how i'm going to do the whole growing up bit and life seems to be pushing that bit on to me quite a lot now.

Anyway, i'l just ponder over it for the next month while i enjoy the last of my summer vacations..:)GOOD NIGHT...!!!

FOOD!!!

Sooo... thats one of the biggest weaknesses.. FOOD!!! i'm one of those people who actually lives to eat instead of eating to survive... i like food and i like all varieties of food.. and today after a loonnnggg time i got to eat some real good food... n the best part was it was a buffet... eat all you can dude... now that is what i like.. soo all except one of us had actually been to this place before... and we sort of initiated my new friend into the whole eating at the buffet because hey, this place has the bestest ( yeah i know thats not a word but it expresses my feelings) place to have a buffet.. i mean the variety of food is wow.. and of course the desserts.. cant even begin to tell you guys about.... the CHOCOLATE CARAMEL PUDDING... every bite of it was like sinful if that even describes it right.... and then i had some of the BLUEBERRY CHEESECAKE.... see i'm not a fan of blueberry but all i can say is yummmmm.... and the i tried the ROSEMARY MANGO SOUFFLÉ... my friends din't enjoy it much because they kinda tasted the rosemary that was used as garnish on top and that ruined the taste for them.. but i din't bother with the garnish and went straight for the real thing and it was good.. i'm a sucker for soufflés and puddings so according to me that was the best of all the desserts.... and then i came to the JALEBIS .. but by then i was uber full.. like stomach about to explode full.. so just had one bite of it.... wow so i wrote a lot about the food i ate huh.. makes me crave for more of it actually... but even though its hours after i ate all that and more my stomach still feels pretty darn full..

Well now that i finished with my whole food session.. i should tell u guys the reason i got to eat all that too right.. well i met my gang of friends from junior college after almost 4 months and we decided to go for lunch so we could eat and talk... though we did most of our talking after food when we went over to one of the friend's house (she couldn't make it because she was sick like had a cold)... yeah sat for hours just talking.. not really catching up because don't really do the whole catching up bit ... we just spoke about all nonsense.. including a shit test.. which was a rather interesting topic.. im not really going to elaborate on it but it was funny... but the funny part was when one of them told us that they din't like swimming because they got cramps when in the pool.. and actually went on to describe how hard it was to swim will only one leg and two hands because the other leg was cramped.. and that had us in splits... i mean who wouldn't laugh when your friend actually demonstrates what cramped leg looks like ... it reminded us of a frog and that had us laughing all the more... i guess thats what hanging out with friends is all about... had a blast today and can't wait to hang out again because we made some big plans for the coming Wednesday which i know are not going to work out but it was a lot of fun planning the impossible anyway... *lauging*....

anyway people finally i can see the mtv awards.. so i'm going to sign out now and enjoy watching all these hot guys and of course Taylor Lautner.. *sighs*....

Good Night and Sleep Tight people...:)

P.S :Oh and i did make the Spoiler Alert in the under pressure post int capitals for people like my stupid friends.. who read the line after spoiler alert even tho they know what it means and then reprimand me about revealing the end of a movie they haven't watched...

UNDER PRESSURE!!!

Today i learnt a new word... BAÑOS.... n my dearest friend actually badly needed it today.. she was under great pressure.... and everyone knows how people get under pressure.. they go kinda crazy... and hyper... she did too.. hehe.... it was a sight to behold seeing her run por él baños... and the funny thing here is she didn't really need it till we had a means to access it but as soon as we were out of reach she realized how much she needed it.. people are funny at times.. not using when they have and needing when its gone..

Anyway, i watched RAAVAN today... after a long time i watched some movie on the day it released... i'd say it was an average movie.. watchable once.. liked Vikram's and Abhishek's acting and ash was shrill.. man what was wrong with her voice...i anyway shouldn't comment much on her because im prejudiced.. i haven't liked her in any movie since taal.... now th reason i say the movie is watchable once is because of the end...
******SPOILER ALERT******
i like the fact that Abhishek dies and Ash realizes what a bastard her husband(Vikram) is for using her as bait(well almost bait)...***SPOILER ALERT****


yea i know that makes me sound like a sadist and weird person but please im bored with all the song and dance and happy endings... in real life happy endings just don't happen...

Hmmmm... i guess thats it for now.... will post again when something RANDOM happens again..:)

Hasta maś tarde...

Adios..:)

ALEATORIEDAD??

okay.. now for people who think Aleatoriedad is not a meaningless word.. let me tell u its not.. its actually a very meaningful word in Spanish.. it means RANDOMNESS..:P i'm writing this blog for no particular reason u know randomly so its an apt name for my blog. oh an why in Spanish.. well because i just started learning Spanish and thought of showing off a little...not much just a little because i don't know much of Spanish...

if your like looking for serious stuff to read. dude i'm just another person writing just some stuff.. so u won't get much seriousness in my blog... i'm going to be writing RANDOM stuff from my life. and i don't really know how serious that can get. then again im not great writer. i know my English and i have most of my grammar in place and i have an average vocabulary. but see that doesn't under any circumstances mean that my post will be sensible to people... i know my friends will understand but anyone else reading it i don't give any guarantees....if u still wanna read well then who am i to stop you.. read away my friend...:)